A story I tell often is about a single woman in her late 40s I worked with years ago who had undergone a complete transformation outside and in. She came to me with very low self confidence, hadn't had a date since her divorce 23 years prior and had no social life. She spent most of her time pouring her energy into raising her kids and working to support them. She was finally ready to focus on her life, however, had no idea where to start. Her life completely changed after our first call together where she decided to do a complete makeover package which included shopping/styling, confidence coaching, flirting, therapy and a photoshoot. What was apparent after our initial meeting, was how much she had given her power away all of these years being married to a narcissist, being a people pleaser and never truly finding her voice. The first step for that changed her entire mindset and set the course for her new life was to shop with her because she needed evidence of seeing herself differently. When we entered the department store, she started experiencing an anxiety attack and stopped me to say that she covered all of her mirrors at home and hadn’t looked at herself in 15 years. Now as a therapist, I know that traditionally what I might have done in that situation was do some cognitive and behavioral talking therapy but that is not what she needed. She needed to see herself differently in order to get over this fear and low self image of herself. I asked her to try on a coat and slip into some sexy boots and to give me 5 seconds in the mirror with these items on. When she finally looked at her reflection, she stood there way beyond 5 seconds and started crying while whimpering, “I have never seen myself so beautiful!” From there I created a beautiful monster as we skipped through the store collecting new bold outfits, changing into them with the door open and showing off her new looks to the people in the store. From there we did a photoshoot for her profile pictures, I coached her on how to flirt and put herself out there to create a new social life and bam…she eventually landed a great guy who she is still with today. This is the power of the unique confidence makeover process I use with people that change their perception of themselves and their lives inside and out.

For more than a decade, as a licensed therapist, I taught individuals to work on themselves from the inside out. But then I personally experienced a personal transformation that flipped that script and changed the way I help people today. Years ago, as a young mom of two during the time I was a traditional therapist, I was blind-sided by divorce. There was a period of time where I literally couldn't get out of bed, let alone out of my own way. I wore enormous oversized maternity clothes, and did everything I could to not be seen. Until one day I woke up and looked in the mirror, and I was horrified by what I saw. Before me was a sad, frumpy woman who couldn't get out of her own way. And here I was a therapist...I should know better. I had a ton of counseling myself, a great support system but I still couldn't get out of my own way. Inside out...hogwash! I was standing completely still in analysis paralysis. I needed movement. I needed action. Deciding it was time for a change, I went shopping and was encouraged to try on something completely out of my comfort zone...a red dress that looked like it was 3 sizes too small. But the personal shopper assured me that it was my color and it was my size. So I tried it on like Cinderella, twirled around and looked in the mirror and bam. This was what I call my "red dress moment" where everything shifted for me. Seeing myself dressed that way--in clothing that actually fit my body and in a color that was to be seen. This was me. But I had to see it in order to believe it to create action and build my confidence.

And after years of working with women and men from all backgrounds, cultures and beliefs, what I learned is that confidence is gained faster when you approach it from the outside in. How you are showing up externally can literally shift how you view yourself, and in turn, how others view you. I believe confidence is at the core of achieving our desires through experience and action. It's the gateway to love, prosperity and ultimately, happiness. Through my products, programs and coaching, I help people build confidence from the outside in--to find the love of their life, to conquer their social fears, to finally love themselves. And from that framework I help people with my unique Charisma Quotient formula, implementing targeted style, emotional and social intelligence to people's lives.