Judy K. Herman, LPC-MHSP, NCC (Licensed Professional Counselor-Mental Health Service Provider; National Certified Counselor) is the innovative therapist who became a client in her own book. Through facing the stress of a loved one with severe mental illness, Judy has become an advocate for human dignity, love, and respect.
She authored two books, "Beyond Messy Relationships" & "Relationships With Purpose." She hosts the podcast, "Better Relationships, Better Life."
When she’s not facilitating retreats or honing her craft as a speaker & writer, you can find her little girl self with the young grandchildren enjoying backyard adventures!
🎙 I love the energy of speaking online and live stages and captivating audiences. My "love tank" is filled when I hear someone randomly tell me, "Your speaking from years ago changed my life." Or some have said, "I remember when you said _________________ and I've never forgotten it."
My voice as a seasoned counselor/speaker, moderator, and facilitator continues to bring me even more depths of transformation as it does for those who hear. I'm energized to know that my life's experiences along with my professional career has a bigger impact than I imagined. It's exciting to be a part of helping others to know their dignity, value, and worthiness!
More than 100 miles
Everything is negotiable
I grew up in a very strict faith tradition in which I was told. . . You don't smoke. . . . you don't drink. . . and you definitely don't engage in. . . . . . premarital. . . . . dancing.
Since that time, I LEARNED to dance. And I learned that E-motions are motions and movement!! Our lives and our emotions are designed to move and flow. They are temporary messengers to our souls. Listen. Be aware. Be intentional. Take risks of growth!! Like breathing fresh A.I.R. Awareness, Intentionality, Risks. We need it to live.
One of my favorite quotes are from Vivian Greene ~ "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."
Ever since childhood, relationships have sparked curiosity.
Being a psychotherapist specializing in relationships is a second career. The first was raising four remarkable humans in a challenging marriage that lasted three decades. With husband #2, we were "Mimi & Papi Joe" to the grandchildren who loved to visit and swing on the tire swing.
I quickly discovered that his mental illness was more severe than ever imagined. He was responsible to take his medications and keep his appointments. He even facilitated bipolar support groups. His break with reality became the catalyst for me to write "Beyond Messy Relationships."
He recovered and became my biggest cheerleader in writing celebrating the book's release in 2019.
Just when we planned a better future, it happened again. On Mother's Day of 2020, he said, "Judy, I need to go to the hospital."
He left and didn’t come back in his right mind.
Every trauma has become an awakening and tuning into a higher calling. Hearing the inside struggles of clients have reinforced the reality that none of us are alone.
The "divine invitations" included two successful marriages. Yes, they both came to what I now call "natural completions."
The former husbands are not "Xs." They deserve dignity and honor and narratives matter.
It took two husbands and 40 years of marital experiences for the courage to live this beautiful and vibrantly authentic life.
We are more than our roles in life or initials behind our names. We all are deeply loved, valued, and worthy of respect.
That's why relationships still spark curiosity!
This makes a great keynote opening for counseling associations, professional women's banquets and domestic violence prevention organizations. This depth of insight that inspires transformation for audiences long after the event is over. It includes Judy's authentic and intense story balanced with humor and light-hearted drama. The energy, creativity, and interaction with the audience makes this presentation stand out.
1. With practical examples, you'll come away with knowing the three psychological blocks that keep us from the powerful perspective. What you become aware of then gives you the ability to change the "relationship dance."
2. You'll experience a simple and profound formula that helps calm the nervous system and allows you to respond rather than react.
Depending on the venue, Judy integrates music, media and other interactive exercises that reinforces the message beyond just listening to content with periodic "ahas."
This high-energy interactive presentation is a great kick-off to any conference. Recently presented for the TN Appointed & Elected Court Clerks Conference. The rhythm and familiarity of the Beach Boys segues into the practical neuroscience of emotional and mental wellness. Potent and vulnerable stories bring inspiration to the surface of our common humanity.
Sets tone for enthusiastic learning and connection for the conference
Increases awareness and demonstrates value of self care
Brings basic concepts of neuroscience into practical motivation for positive change
The accompanying breakout session after this keynote is especially effective. It's entitled:
From Chaos to Calm: Strategies for Successful Interactions
Comments from participants include most valuable part was:
"speaker's enthusiasm and knowledge"
"she made the presentation easy to tune in"
"helped me know what others are going through"
"being able to take care of myself in stressful times"
This is a 30 or 45 minute breakout session or masterclass (virtual or in-person)
In this interactive session, attendees will experience activities that enhance wellbeing. Learn how personal traumatic experiences can awaken clarity of purpose and turn overwhelm into opportunity.
Participate in guided meditations and demonstrations along with potent stories of transformation. Judy brings us a growth formula for busting through limited beliefs and developing a mindset of vibrant authenticity. Included are applications of neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom. Exercises illustrate universal truths about relationships, mental wellness, and resilience.
1. Participate in a guided meditation to calm the nervous system.
2. Experience the mindfulness clarity formula of breathing fresh A.I.R.
3. Gain a neuroscience understanding of the two states of being and how it affects our mental health.
This breakout session is especially effective right after the Keynote entitled: Pick'n Up Good Vibrations: Beach Boys Psychology 101.
This 50 minute workshop gives practical take-aways, inspiration and motivation for positive change in otherwise challenging relationships. One activity is a group guided meditation which enhances empathic understanding.
Raise self-awareness of how one is co-creating the situation
Explanations of phrases and words that put another in a position of defensiveness
Examples of emotionally safe phrases and words that invite curiosity rather than judgement
Presented as a breakout or keynote for Corporations, Associations, and Leadership Summits
This psycho-educational multi-media presentation includes lecture, guided meditation, role-play and short video clips. Participants gain skills from Judy's formula for wisdom and insight. By calming the nervous system through deep breaths of A.I.R. you become attuned to the acronym. Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks of growth.
Judy shows us what vibrant authenticity looks like beyond her own messy relationships. As a psychotherapist to high-level executives, she normalizes the struggle of our human journey.
The catalyst for writing her book, "Beyond Messy Relationships" was her former husband's second season of psychosis. Judy brings hope to participants along with practical applications. Presented in a high-energy and light-hearted way, some have said, this is even better than therapy! Although we'll include a disclaimer that it's not a substitute for professional counseling.
1. Describe and give practical examples for the acronym AIR.
2. Name the eight dances (relationship patterns) and identify your "natural" steps.
3. Name the five "normal" horsemen that keep us stuck in relationship messes and why peer support is essential.
This talk can be adapted for churches, retreats, and non-profit organizations
This can be online, on stage, or in a workshop format.
Dialogue for Well-being: The Art of Holding Tension in the midst of Differences
for leadership training
Demonstrate ability to apply coping strategies using the formula AIR, awareness, intentionality, and risk.
Gain skills for self-care as mental health counselors. (can be applied to other leadership positions in organizations)
Prepare to view crisis situations as “divine appointments” for authentic and personal growth.
This talk is designed for graduate level counseling programs. But it can be adapted to address other types of leadership training and coaching programs.
It’s challenging to have professional boundaries and show up authentically with clients. Is self-disclosure appropriate in some cases? Learn techniques, attitudes, warning signs, and mistakes to avoid. What was discussed:
A technique on how to align with both partners in couples’ counseling
One question to ask yourself when you’re drawn to self-disclosure
How to recognize your own reactivity and what to do about it in session
(for church events)
High energy multi-media 4-week series packed with practical tips on improving family relationships. Attendees learned how and why relationships are vital to physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being as well as a simple formula for turning difficult circumstances into divine appointments.
Week # 1 – What Every Relationship Needs No Matter What Generation You’re In
Week # 2 – What You Need To Avoid – The Four Horsemen Of Relationships
Week # 3 – How To Be a Sprinkler Instead of A Vacuum Cleaner – Being Emotionally Safe
Week # 4 – How to Meet God Through Another’s Differences, Even When They’re Way Off Base
Your difficult relationship may be your mother-in-law, your significant other, your ex, or your spouse. This 90-minute teaching is packed with practical tools to give you clarity and skills to show up as the real you. You’ll be able to focus on what matters most.
You’ll learn how:
To recover from a regrettable incident.
To use the formula for clarity – AIR: Awareness, Intentionality, Risks
To know when it’s time to get outside help
Each participant will receive a signed copy of “Beyond Messy Relationships.”
This moment in time is a divine invitation. And even though we are across the screen, I recognize that you are worthy of dignity, love, and respect.
This speech was my 10 minute segment in honor of International Women's Day. Along with 19 other women around the world, we are sharing our passion and messages of transformation.
I share a simple and profound formula that's transformed hundreds of my clients and has the potential for getting you into your vibrantly authentic life.
Just copy and paste this link to watch the 10 minute talk: https://youtu.be/ec2HFl8RCY0