Judy Herman, LPC-MHSP, NCC
Keynote Speaker, Retreat Facilitator, Author, Psychotherapist at Relationship Wellness, LLC
Professional Training and Coaching
Education: Bryan College - Two Master's Degrees; Richmont University, Liberty University
Chattanooga, TN, USA
Biography
Judy K. Herman, LPC-MHSP, is a dynamic speaker, psychotherapist, and creator of The A.I.R. Formula™ and the C.A.L.M. Method™ who empowers ambitious women to break free from toxic loyalties and automatic relationship patterns. Blending neuroscience, storytelling, and strategy, she equips audiences to lead with clarity, confidence, and emotional resilience. She is hired by event planners looking to inspire lasting transformation and impact for their events.
Passion
I thrive on the energy of live and virtual stages, where transformation begins with one resonant truth supported by neuroscience and a blend of psychological insights and ancient wisdom. As a seasoned counselor and speaker, I’m most fulfilled when someone says, “Your words changed my life.” My passion is empowering women to rediscover their dignity, value, and worth—and I’m honored to spark that awakening from the stage.
Best Story
You might know what it was like to be raised in a strict household like me, where the rules were clear. You know the ones.
❌ Don’t smoke.
❌ Don’t drink. And
❌ Don't engage in premarital. . . dancing. 💃
So, busting through the shame and guilt of pre-marital dancing, of course—I learned to dance.
And not just on the outside. I discovered that our emotions are motions! They are designed to move through our bodies. In fact, it's the stuck emotions that set us up for a diagnosis!
Let's get them unstuck! Emotions are our temporary soul-messengers. When we breathe fresh A.I.R.™ (Awareness, Intentionality, Risks), we grow, we heal… and yes, we can learn to dance in the rain. ☔
"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” —Vivian Greene
Origin Story
I sat in my therapist’s office, trying to figure out whether it was his illness or his character. Those dark moods and irritability seemed out of proportion and it was confusing. “I try not to add to his stress,” I said. “I can feel when he’s close to another bipolar episode. You know that last one nearly took his life as he was grossly out of tune with reality.
In the midst of my anxiety, she looked at me with warmth and said,
"Judy, you have a tremendous amount of loyalty and stick-to-it-iveness. I’ve seen that in your 30-year first marriage.”
At that moment, I felt proud. . . Seen.
Then her gaze deepened—piercing through every layer—and she said something that stunned me:
"Judy, that’s NOT a compliment."
In that moment, it felt like I was waking from a dream. I realized my loyalty had become toxic. I wasn’t just being supportive—I was sacrificing my emotional sanity at the altar of someone else's complexity.
I took a deep breath and began questioning everything. Yes, I mean everything I believed about love, commitment, and endurance. Over time, I made courageous choices—first to heal, then to help others do the same.
Now, I empower ambitious women to stop walking on eggshells and start leading lives of clarity, strength, and joy. Through my C.A.L.M. Method™, books, retreats, and podcast, I guide women to find freedom—without sacrificing themselves.
Example talks
A Powerful Perspective Beyond Messy Relationships
This makes a great keynote opening for counseling associations, professional women's banquets and domestic violence prevention organizations. This depth of insight that inspires transformation for audiences long after the event is over. It includes Judy's authentic and intense story balanced with humor and light-hearted drama. The energy, creativity, and interaction with the audience makes this presentation stand out.
1. With practical examples, you'll come away with knowing the three psychological blocks that keep us from the powerful perspective. What you become aware of then gives you the ability to change the "relationship dance."
2. You'll experience a simple and profound formula that helps calm the nervous system and allows you to respond rather than react.
Depending on the venue, Judy integrates music, media and other interactive exercises that reinforces the message beyond just listening to content with periodic "ahas."
Pick'n Up Good Vibrations: Beach Boys Psychology 101
This high-energy interactive presentation is a great kick-off to any conference. Recently presented for the TN Appointed & Elected Court Clerks Conference. The rhythm and familiarity of the Beach Boys segues into the practical neuroscience of emotional and mental wellness. Potent and vulnerable stories bring inspiration to the surface of our common humanity.
Objectives:
Sets tone for enthusiastic learning and connection for the conference
Increases awareness and demonstrates value of self care
Brings basic concepts of neuroscience into practical motivation for positive change
The accompanying breakout session after this keynote is especially effective. It's entitled:
From Chaos to Calm: Strategies for Successful Interactions
Comments from participants include most valuable part was:
"speaker's enthusiasm and knowledge"
"she made the presentation easy to tune in"
"helped me know what others are going through"
"being able to take care of myself in stressful times"
Mastering Mindset: Exposing Common Limited Beliefs that Keep High-achieving Women Overwhelmed and What To Do About It.
This is a 30 or 45 minute breakout session or masterclass (virtual or in-person)
In this interactive session, attendees will experience activities that enhance wellbeing. Learn how personal traumatic experiences can awaken clarity of purpose and turn overwhelm into opportunity.
Participate in guided meditations and demonstrations along with potent stories of transformation. Judy brings us a growth formula for busting through limited beliefs and developing a mindset of vibrant authenticity. Included are applications of neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom. Exercises illustrate universal truths about relationships, mental wellness, and resilience.
Learning Objectives:
1. Participate in a guided meditation to calm the nervous system.
2. Experience the mindfulness clarity formula of breathing fresh A.I.R.
3. Gain a neuroscience understanding of the two states of being and how it affects our mental health.
From Chaos To Calm: Strategies for Successful Interactions
This breakout session is especially effective right after the Keynote entitled: Pick'n Up Good Vibrations: Beach Boys Psychology 101.
This 50 minute workshop gives practical take-aways, inspiration and motivation for positive change in otherwise challenging relationships. One activity is a group guided meditation which enhances empathic understanding.
Objective:
Raise self-awareness of how one is co-creating the situation
Explanations of phrases and words that put another in a position of defensiveness
Examples of emotionally safe phrases and words that invite curiosity rather than judgement
Vibrantly Authentic Leadership Beyond Messy Relationships
Presented as a breakout or keynote for Corporations, Associations, and Leadership Summits
This psycho-educational multi-media presentation includes lecture, guided meditation, role-play and short video clips. Participants gain skills from Judy's formula for wisdom and insight. By calming the nervous system through deep breaths of A.I.R. you become attuned to the acronym. Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks of growth.
Judy shows us what vibrant authenticity looks like beyond her own messy relationships. As a psychotherapist to high-level executives, she normalizes the struggle of our human journey.
The catalyst for writing her book, "Beyond Messy Relationships" was her former husband's second season of psychosis. Judy brings hope to participants along with practical applications. Presented in a high-energy and light-hearted way, some have said, this is even better than therapy! Although we'll include a disclaimer that it's not a substitute for professional counseling.
1. Describe and give practical examples for the acronym AIR.
2. Name the eight dances (relationship patterns) and identify your "natural" steps.
3. Name the five "normal" horsemen that keep us stuck in relationship messes and why peer support is essential.
This talk can be adapted for churches, retreats, and non-profit organizations
5 Tips for Navigating Relationships During COVID19: Transitioning with Vulnerability
This can be online, on stage, or in a workshop format.
Good leaders Listen
Dialogue for Well-being: The Art of Holding Tension in the midst of Differences
When Personal Crisis Hits: How to Survive and Thrive in the Midst of Helping Others
for leadership training
Objectives:
Demonstrate ability to apply coping strategies using the formula AIR, awareness, intentionality, and risk.
Gain skills for self-care as mental health counselors. (can be applied to other leadership positions in organizations)
Prepare to view crisis situations as “divine appointments” for authentic and personal growth.
Modeling Authenticity in the Counseling Room
This talk is designed for graduate level counseling programs. But it can be adapted to address other types of leadership training and coaching programs.
It’s challenging to have professional boundaries and show up authentically with clients. Is self-disclosure appropriate in some cases? Learn techniques, attitudes, warning signs, and mistakes to avoid. What was discussed:
A technique on how to align with both partners in couples’ counseling
One question to ask yourself when you’re drawn to self-disclosure
How to recognize your own reactivity and what to do about it in session
Divine Appointments Through Family Relationships
(for church events)
High energy multi-media 4-week series packed with practical tips on improving family relationships. Attendees learned how and why relationships are vital to physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being as well as a simple formula for turning difficult circumstances into divine appointments.
Week # 1 – What Every Relationship Needs No Matter What Generation You’re In
Week # 2 – What You Need To Avoid – The Four Horsemen Of Relationships
Week # 3 – How To Be a Sprinkler Instead of A Vacuum Cleaner – Being Emotionally Safe
Week # 4 – How to Meet God Through Another’s Differences, Even When They’re Way Off Base
How to Be Your Authentic Self in a Difficult Relationship
Your difficult relationship may be your mother-in-law, your significant other, your ex, or your spouse. This 90-minute teaching is packed with practical tools to give you clarity and skills to show up as the real you. You’ll be able to focus on what matters most.
You’ll learn how:
To recover from a regrettable incident.
To use the formula for clarity – AIR: Awareness, Intentionality, Risks
To know when it’s time to get outside help
Each participant will receive a signed copy of “Beyond Messy Relationships.”
Beyond Messy Relationships & Into Your Vibrantly Authentic Life
This moment in time is a divine invitation. And even though we are across the screen, I recognize that you are worthy of dignity, love, and respect.
This speech was my 10 minute segment in honor of International Women's Day. Along with 19 other women around the world, we are sharing our passion and messages of transformation.
I share a simple and profound formula that's transformed hundreds of my clients and has the potential for getting you into your vibrantly authentic life.
Just copy and paste this link to watch the 10 minute talk: https://youtu.be/ec2HFl8RCY0
Featured Video
I am willing to travel
More than 100 miles
When it comes to payments
Everything is negotiable
Topics
Best Story
You might know what it was like to be raised in a strict household like me, where the rules were clear. You know the ones.
❌ Don’t smoke.
❌ Don’t drink. And
❌ Don't engage in premarital. . . dancing. 💃
So, busting through the shame and guilt of pre-marital dancing, of course—I learned to dance.
And not just on the outside. I discovered that our emotions are motions! They are designed to move through our bodies. In fact, it's the stuck emotions that set us up for a diagnosis!
Let's get them unstuck! Emotions are our temporary soul-messengers. When we breathe fresh A.I.R.™ (Awareness, Intentionality, Risks), we grow, we heal… and yes, we can learn to dance in the rain. ☔
"Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass… it’s about learning to dance in the rain.” —Vivian Greene
Origin Story
I sat in my therapist’s office, trying to figure out whether it was his illness or his character. Those dark moods and irritability seemed out of proportion and it was confusing. “I try not to add to his stress,” I said. “I can feel when he’s close to another bipolar episode. You know that last one nearly took his life as he was grossly out of tune with reality.
In the midst of my anxiety, she looked at me with warmth and said,
"Judy, you have a tremendous amount of loyalty and stick-to-it-iveness. I’ve seen that in your 30-year first marriage.”
At that moment, I felt proud. . . Seen.
Then her gaze deepened—piercing through every layer—and she said something that stunned me:
"Judy, that’s NOT a compliment."
In that moment, it felt like I was waking from a dream. I realized my loyalty had become toxic. I wasn’t just being supportive—I was sacrificing my emotional sanity at the altar of someone else's complexity.
I took a deep breath and began questioning everything. Yes, I mean everything I believed about love, commitment, and endurance. Over time, I made courageous choices—first to heal, then to help others do the same.
Now, I empower ambitious women to stop walking on eggshells and start leading lives of clarity, strength, and joy. Through my C.A.L.M. Method™, books, retreats, and podcast, I guide women to find freedom—without sacrificing themselves.
Example talks
A Powerful Perspective Beyond Messy Relationships
This makes a great keynote opening for counseling associations, professional women's banquets and domestic violence prevention organizations. This depth of insight that inspires transformation for audiences long after the event is over. It includes Judy's authentic and intense story balanced with humor and light-hearted drama. The energy, creativity, and interaction with the audience makes this presentation stand out.
1. With practical examples, you'll come away with knowing the three psychological blocks that keep us from the powerful perspective. What you become aware of then gives you the ability to change the "relationship dance."
2. You'll experience a simple and profound formula that helps calm the nervous system and allows you to respond rather than react.
Depending on the venue, Judy integrates music, media and other interactive exercises that reinforces the message beyond just listening to content with periodic "ahas."
Pick'n Up Good Vibrations: Beach Boys Psychology 101
This high-energy interactive presentation is a great kick-off to any conference. Recently presented for the TN Appointed & Elected Court Clerks Conference. The rhythm and familiarity of the Beach Boys segues into the practical neuroscience of emotional and mental wellness. Potent and vulnerable stories bring inspiration to the surface of our common humanity.
Objectives:
Sets tone for enthusiastic learning and connection for the conference
Increases awareness and demonstrates value of self care
Brings basic concepts of neuroscience into practical motivation for positive change
The accompanying breakout session after this keynote is especially effective. It's entitled:
From Chaos to Calm: Strategies for Successful Interactions
Comments from participants include most valuable part was:
"speaker's enthusiasm and knowledge"
"she made the presentation easy to tune in"
"helped me know what others are going through"
"being able to take care of myself in stressful times"
Mastering Mindset: Exposing Common Limited Beliefs that Keep High-achieving Women Overwhelmed and What To Do About It.
This is a 30 or 45 minute breakout session or masterclass (virtual or in-person)
In this interactive session, attendees will experience activities that enhance wellbeing. Learn how personal traumatic experiences can awaken clarity of purpose and turn overwhelm into opportunity.
Participate in guided meditations and demonstrations along with potent stories of transformation. Judy brings us a growth formula for busting through limited beliefs and developing a mindset of vibrant authenticity. Included are applications of neuroscience, psychology, and ancient wisdom. Exercises illustrate universal truths about relationships, mental wellness, and resilience.
Learning Objectives:
1. Participate in a guided meditation to calm the nervous system.
2. Experience the mindfulness clarity formula of breathing fresh A.I.R.
3. Gain a neuroscience understanding of the two states of being and how it affects our mental health.
From Chaos To Calm: Strategies for Successful Interactions
This breakout session is especially effective right after the Keynote entitled: Pick'n Up Good Vibrations: Beach Boys Psychology 101.
This 50 minute workshop gives practical take-aways, inspiration and motivation for positive change in otherwise challenging relationships. One activity is a group guided meditation which enhances empathic understanding.
Objective:
Raise self-awareness of how one is co-creating the situation
Explanations of phrases and words that put another in a position of defensiveness
Examples of emotionally safe phrases and words that invite curiosity rather than judgement
Vibrantly Authentic Leadership Beyond Messy Relationships
Presented as a breakout or keynote for Corporations, Associations, and Leadership Summits
This psycho-educational multi-media presentation includes lecture, guided meditation, role-play and short video clips. Participants gain skills from Judy's formula for wisdom and insight. By calming the nervous system through deep breaths of A.I.R. you become attuned to the acronym. Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks of growth.
Judy shows us what vibrant authenticity looks like beyond her own messy relationships. As a psychotherapist to high-level executives, she normalizes the struggle of our human journey.
The catalyst for writing her book, "Beyond Messy Relationships" was her former husband's second season of psychosis. Judy brings hope to participants along with practical applications. Presented in a high-energy and light-hearted way, some have said, this is even better than therapy! Although we'll include a disclaimer that it's not a substitute for professional counseling.
1. Describe and give practical examples for the acronym AIR.
2. Name the eight dances (relationship patterns) and identify your "natural" steps.
3. Name the five "normal" horsemen that keep us stuck in relationship messes and why peer support is essential.
This talk can be adapted for churches, retreats, and non-profit organizations
5 Tips for Navigating Relationships During COVID19: Transitioning with Vulnerability
This can be online, on stage, or in a workshop format.
Good leaders Listen
Dialogue for Well-being: The Art of Holding Tension in the midst of Differences
When Personal Crisis Hits: How to Survive and Thrive in the Midst of Helping Others
for leadership training
Objectives:
Demonstrate ability to apply coping strategies using the formula AIR, awareness, intentionality, and risk.
Gain skills for self-care as mental health counselors. (can be applied to other leadership positions in organizations)
Prepare to view crisis situations as “divine appointments” for authentic and personal growth.
Modeling Authenticity in the Counseling Room
This talk is designed for graduate level counseling programs. But it can be adapted to address other types of leadership training and coaching programs.
It’s challenging to have professional boundaries and show up authentically with clients. Is self-disclosure appropriate in some cases? Learn techniques, attitudes, warning signs, and mistakes to avoid. What was discussed:
A technique on how to align with both partners in couples’ counseling
One question to ask yourself when you’re drawn to self-disclosure
How to recognize your own reactivity and what to do about it in session
Divine Appointments Through Family Relationships
(for church events)
High energy multi-media 4-week series packed with practical tips on improving family relationships. Attendees learned how and why relationships are vital to physical, spiritual, and emotional well-being as well as a simple formula for turning difficult circumstances into divine appointments.
Week # 1 – What Every Relationship Needs No Matter What Generation You’re In
Week # 2 – What You Need To Avoid – The Four Horsemen Of Relationships
Week # 3 – How To Be a Sprinkler Instead of A Vacuum Cleaner – Being Emotionally Safe
Week # 4 – How to Meet God Through Another’s Differences, Even When They’re Way Off Base
How to Be Your Authentic Self in a Difficult Relationship
Your difficult relationship may be your mother-in-law, your significant other, your ex, or your spouse. This 90-minute teaching is packed with practical tools to give you clarity and skills to show up as the real you. You’ll be able to focus on what matters most.
You’ll learn how:
To recover from a regrettable incident.
To use the formula for clarity – AIR: Awareness, Intentionality, Risks
To know when it’s time to get outside help
Each participant will receive a signed copy of “Beyond Messy Relationships.”
Beyond Messy Relationships & Into Your Vibrantly Authentic Life
This moment in time is a divine invitation. And even though we are across the screen, I recognize that you are worthy of dignity, love, and respect.
This speech was my 10 minute segment in honor of International Women's Day. Along with 19 other women around the world, we are sharing our passion and messages of transformation.
I share a simple and profound formula that's transformed hundreds of my clients and has the potential for getting you into your vibrantly authentic life.
Just copy and paste this link to watch the 10 minute talk: https://youtu.be/ec2HFl8RCY0