One of my favorite success stories of using PHL involved a colleague who had natural talent, business savvy, and real passion for his work. However, it was all of those gifts that united with his lack of confidence, his tendency to be easily upset, as well as his need to be liked that presented a true leadership opportunity to assist in his career. In all honesty, in my first several months in the new job, the amount of time this individual spent in my office rivaled most of the standing meetings that I had throughout my years of academia, but I enjoyed his passion for the industry and felt that he needed to be “heard.” When I say “heard”, I don’t mean just in the active listening sense of the word, but heard in that he had an opinion, he had a perspective, and he had ideas. And he was excited about it all! But he also was unsure about me, what I was bringing to the table, and how we were going to work together given my newness to the University. Another variable to consider was the external reputation this team had within the organization.
What started out as venting sessions, eventually lead to constructive and intentional conversations about his program goals, his career aspirations, and creating a strategic plan to fulfilling his ambitions. For most of us, when we experience a situation, take the time to process the emotions and meanings behind “what happened to us” we eventually come back to interpreting the event in order to address it and resolve it. One of my favorite learning gems in psychology is that the more emotional connection we have with information, the easier the memory recall is to retrieve it. In this case, my team member had been on the receiving end of much manipulation and taunting from a peer for such a long period of time that he began to own the self-doubt and lack of confidence that any of us would given the level of criticism and negative feedback. Considerate reframing and effort were given to untangle the emotional reactions from the distorted narrative in the search of reality and accuracy of what the truth. First, we had to be honest, be objective, and build the confidence in self in order to challenge this colleague’s false narrative. The first day was a bit bumpy, but he held his own and I could see that with support, encouragement, and determination, he would be able to build upon this experience and start finding his voice. The second day, the intensity and snipping between the two increased and I could tell my colleague was wavering on his stance and wanted to give in to relieve the tension that the team was feeling. But I encouraged him to stay connected, invested, and focused on what he wanted his end result. My coaching to him them, as it would be now, was not to let this tension compromise his stand of how he would allow others to treat him. He needed to take a stand, maintain his position, and continue to set boundaries for how others would see him and treat him. On day three, it all broke down and he had won the battle! Seeing him so full of confidence was a proud moment but more because he stayed committed to what he believed and more importantly, that he was able to do this without the intervention of his supervisor. And if that moment wasn’t enough of a victory, I watched this amazing talent start to apply that confidence in other areas such as projects, tackling tough conversations, as well as taking risks in new areas of interest and development. By being of pure heart, his development was more important than me interceding upon his behalf or telling him how to act instead of allowing him to develop his own way. From there, we built out a coaching plan to cover the areas he needed to move to the next level and we were intentional in our coaching sessions to ensure we were building our plan of his eventual departure for the next level of management. Proud to say he hit all the milestones and he stepped into his next adventure right on target!

Native Texan with an authentic and vivacious perspective on life! Throughout my life, I have been fortunate to experience much in the ways of successes & miracles but have also faced my fair share of challenges & hardships. With each life opportunity, I made some good choices, some poor choices, and figured out a way to make it thru on my own, true to myself, and in my own authentic style.
Hard to imagine that the struggling student of my youth created a path leading to holding a PhD in Clinical Psychology and building a successful career in higher education. Left Texas to pursue the life lesson of learning to stand on my own and survived living in Los Angeles, Birmingham, Chicago, and Pittsburgh. Try living as a Texan outside of Texas and tell me that’s not a challenge. I’ve faced judgement and discrimination for my body, gender, and intelligence. I’m known to fight for the underdog, personally, professionally, and even when I was the underdog with cancer.

Among my life accomplishments, and recognized gifts, is my storytelling style but not because of the fairy-tale kind. My stories are focused on looking inside for your super powers, finding your tribe of support and compassion, and building a dream that becomes a shared reality with your community. And finally, my stories always have a happy ending because we make sure we have some fun and create memories along the way!