Member since February 2024
Elaine Belson has 30 years combined speaking, clinical, and military experience. At the age of 42, Elaine joined the US Army, deploying to Afghanistan, where she served as the Executive Officer (XO) for Medical Command. Elaine is also The Self-Authority Coach, helping women break free from harsh self-judgment and step into self-trust. She hosts The Self-Authority Podcast and makes regular guest appearances. With a unique background, Elaine brings both wisdom and real-world resilience to her work. Known for her powerful, bite-sized mantras, she has a gift for turning complex emotional struggles into simple, actionable truths that stick.
I help women who are hard on themselves let go of self-doubt, overthinking and worrying what others think so they can live their lives according to their values and not their fears. In my experience, women are hard on themselves as a coping strategy for fear of rejection and failure. Self-Authority empowers women to harness their innate abilities using emotion and reason. I teach women how to stop "treating others as mirrors" and to self-validate using two techniques: "Be your own best friend" and the "Opposite of the Golden Rule." I also teach women to stop "looking for permission" to set boundaries and learn from their mistakes by being "like Columbo without the trench coat and cigar."
I call this my "Bed, Bath & Beyond moment." Coming out of the store, I began to rehash a conversation I just had. Driven by fear of rejection and failure and feelings of inadequacy (I'm not good enough, I'm undeserving or there's something inherently wrong with me), I felt compelled to do it. Of course, this is the opposite of what I told others: "Just be yourself, don't worry about what other people think, you're fine the way you are." That's when I decided, "I'm getting in my car, driving away and never looking back." From that moment on, any time I started being hard on myself, I would stop and say, "I'm good enough the way that I am." This doesn't mean perfect. I'll make mistakes, but being hard on myself is not the way to avoid them. This was the start of my "Embrace Your Humanity!" method.
I have always followed my passion, which has led to a variety of rich experiences: theatre actor, sewing business, children's book writing, teaching, legislative positions, and US Army. Sometimes the lessons were uncomfortable, but always rewarding. And they make great stories! It has taught me that true passion is being able to get up every day and look forward to what you're doing.
Do you feel inadequate and undeserving, and assume others see you that way? Do you feel like a cup with a hole in it: no matter how much positive feedback you get, you need more? Do you treat others like mirrors: in other words, how you feel about yourself depends on how others react? Do you mind-read, second-guess yourself, anticipate other people’s reactions, compare yourself to others, self-criticize and overanalyze?
Working with women for over three decades, I’ve been struck by how many struggle with feelings of inadequacy. My colleagues have observed this, too. Women compensate for feelings of inadequacy by being hard on themselves. Of course, inner bullying further lowers a woman's self-esteem, creating a vicious cycle.
Takeaways:
How we function in our personal relationships, the workplace and society is inextricably linked to how we think, feel, problem-solve, and communicate. Yet we live in a society that dismisses mental health. Embrace Your Humanity! teaches how to harness your innate abilities, particularly emotions, to make good decisions.
Human beings have feelings for the same reason they experience pain and hunger. They are a survival mechanism - information of a need or threat they’re overlooking. By acknowledging all your feelings (needs), where they're coming from and what’s in your control, you achieve balance - the essence of well-being.
Takeaways:
One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it’s interchangeable with worry. Not so. Anxiety is an emotion. Worrying is a thought process. Anxiety is a normal reaction to feeling out of control. Worrying is a coping strategy, albeit an ineffective one. Anxiety is innate. Worrying is a choice.
It saddens me that so many struggle with incessant worrying – interfering with sleep, disrupting their productivity, making them depressed. It’s so unnecessary! You may have heard of the “fight, flight or freeze” response. The sensation you know as anxiety is your body revving up to protect you from a threatening situation. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but so is touching a hot stove! It’s there for a reason. It’s how people cope with anxiety that’s the problem.Workshops and books that teach communication skills are only scratching the surface. Good communication requires an understanding of a relationship's underlying dynamics - that is, why people react the way they do. It's like learning a new language, but it can be learned! Based on 30 years of practice, Ms. Belson has developed a list of "16 Principals of Communication," that are essential in any situation, easy to understand, remember and apply.
Takeaways:
With a background in play therapy, I've been helping parents work smarter, not harder for over 30 years.
Takeaways:
Most organizations go straight to problem-solving before identifying underlying needs, creating competing agendas and personal conflicts. This workshop teaches groups how to work as a team in 4 phases: Identify Needs, where there is consensus, Brainstorming, Evaluating (including consolidating and resource assessment), and Implementation. This workshop will also cover communication tools (aka reverse psychology) for avoiding conflict, such as praising, identifying common ground, and holding others accountable.
Takeaways:
As a Behavioral Health Officer in the Army, I handled domestic violence cases and taught anger management to Soldiers. When recounting an altercation, Soldiers described a sequence of events escalating into violence. I call this phenomenon the “domino effect.” When you push on the first domino in a row, they all fall. But remove just one and you alter the outcome. So, it is with law enforcement: most violent altercations with the public are the culmination of a series of choices.
As we study the events leading up to police brutality, there are any number of decisions – some large, some small – that, if altered, can prevent tragic outcomes. There are four factors that play a role in the outcome of a call: emotional regulation, perception of events, physical reactions, and communication. In this presentation, we look at how to train officers to de-escalate and avoid unnecessary violence using these four components.
Takeaways:
I call this my "Bed, Bath & Beyond moment." Coming out of the store, I began to rehash a conversation I just had. Driven by fear of rejection and failure and feelings of inadequacy (I'm not good enough, I'm undeserving or there's something inherently wrong with me), I felt compelled to do it. Of course, this is the opposite of what I told others: "Just be yourself, don't worry about what other people think, you're fine the way you are." That's when I decided, "I'm getting in my car, driving away and never looking back." From that moment on, any time I started being hard on myself, I would stop and say, "I'm good enough the way that I am." This doesn't mean perfect. I'll make mistakes, but being hard on myself is not the way to avoid them. This was the start of my "Embrace Your Humanity!" method.
I have always followed my passion, which has led to a variety of rich experiences: theatre actor, sewing business, children's book writing, teaching, legislative positions, and US Army. Sometimes the lessons were uncomfortable, but always rewarding. And they make great stories! It has taught me that true passion is being able to get up every day and look forward to what you're doing.
Do you feel inadequate and undeserving, and assume others see you that way? Do you feel like a cup with a hole in it: no matter how much positive feedback you get, you need more? Do you treat others like mirrors: in other words, how you feel about yourself depends on how others react? Do you mind-read, second-guess yourself, anticipate other people’s reactions, compare yourself to others, self-criticize and overanalyze?
Working with women for over three decades, I’ve been struck by how many struggle with feelings of inadequacy. My colleagues have observed this, too. Women compensate for feelings of inadequacy by being hard on themselves. Of course, inner bullying further lowers a woman's self-esteem, creating a vicious cycle.
Takeaways:
How we function in our personal relationships, the workplace and society is inextricably linked to how we think, feel, problem-solve, and communicate. Yet we live in a society that dismisses mental health. Embrace Your Humanity! teaches how to harness your innate abilities, particularly emotions, to make good decisions.
Human beings have feelings for the same reason they experience pain and hunger. They are a survival mechanism - information of a need or threat they’re overlooking. By acknowledging all your feelings (needs), where they're coming from and what’s in your control, you achieve balance - the essence of well-being.
Takeaways:
One of the biggest misconceptions about anxiety is that it’s interchangeable with worry. Not so. Anxiety is an emotion. Worrying is a thought process. Anxiety is a normal reaction to feeling out of control. Worrying is a coping strategy, albeit an ineffective one. Anxiety is innate. Worrying is a choice.
It saddens me that so many struggle with incessant worrying – interfering with sleep, disrupting their productivity, making them depressed. It’s so unnecessary! You may have heard of the “fight, flight or freeze” response. The sensation you know as anxiety is your body revving up to protect you from a threatening situation. Yes, it’s uncomfortable, but so is touching a hot stove! It’s there for a reason. It’s how people cope with anxiety that’s the problem.Workshops and books that teach communication skills are only scratching the surface. Good communication requires an understanding of a relationship's underlying dynamics - that is, why people react the way they do. It's like learning a new language, but it can be learned! Based on 30 years of practice, Ms. Belson has developed a list of "16 Principals of Communication," that are essential in any situation, easy to understand, remember and apply.
Takeaways:
With a background in play therapy, I've been helping parents work smarter, not harder for over 30 years.
Takeaways:
Most organizations go straight to problem-solving before identifying underlying needs, creating competing agendas and personal conflicts. This workshop teaches groups how to work as a team in 4 phases: Identify Needs, where there is consensus, Brainstorming, Evaluating (including consolidating and resource assessment), and Implementation. This workshop will also cover communication tools (aka reverse psychology) for avoiding conflict, such as praising, identifying common ground, and holding others accountable.
Takeaways:
As a Behavioral Health Officer in the Army, I handled domestic violence cases and taught anger management to Soldiers. When recounting an altercation, Soldiers described a sequence of events escalating into violence. I call this phenomenon the “domino effect.” When you push on the first domino in a row, they all fall. But remove just one and you alter the outcome. So, it is with law enforcement: most violent altercations with the public are the culmination of a series of choices.
As we study the events leading up to police brutality, there are any number of decisions – some large, some small – that, if altered, can prevent tragic outcomes. There are four factors that play a role in the outcome of a call: emotional regulation, perception of events, physical reactions, and communication. In this presentation, we look at how to train officers to de-escalate and avoid unnecessary violence using these four components.
Takeaways: